Types of donations.

Information about donating. 

This is just a short post about some information on donations, also I will put links to some online information as well for you to go and research. 

disclaimer: I am not an expert and am just passing on information I found as well as site for research if you are looking into having a baby through donations. 

When looking for a sperm donor there are many organisations and sites like Pride Angles and just a baby many however charge along with sperm banks, this is normally a lot of money which, is not affordable for most people. The NHS do fund some IVF treatments but many couples especially those who are in same sex relationships and trans couples like us who need sperm donations, IVF is not available on the NHS. 

There is however many free Facebook sites where there are sperm donors offing to help couples, single people and LGBT couples to have the opportunity to create a family. There are many things to consider when finding a donor.

Some Facebook pages I would recommend:

1. Free sperm donors uk!: https://www.facebook.com/groups/FSDUK/
2. sperm donors AI+ natural FREE only uk LGBT + Hetro: https://www.facebook.com/groups/Viva.Sperm.Donation.find.Donors/permalink/821578524714277/comment_id=832777170261079&notif_id=1530312805364452&notif_t=group_comment

Types of donations 

When looking for a donor make sure you have done your research into the types of donations, the donor themselves and your rights.

AI is Artificial Insemination which is where semen is inserted into the cervix in order to get pregnant, this can be done in a clinic or at home. This is the method we used. In order to perform artificial insemination at home, you will need a sterile pot or container in which the donor is to produce his semen into, leave it to liquify for around 10-15 minuets, Then use a 5 ml syringe to collect the sperm from the pot and insert it into the cervix. its best to lay flat with your hips raise up by putting a pillow under your hips. Squirt the syringe slowly and then leave it in as a plug for about 10 mins. Do not use normal lube as it kills the semen, if lube is needed use pre-seeded. Also by being aroused and bringing on a orgasm all helps the sperm fertilize the egg. Lay back and leave your legs in the air for about 30 mins this uses gravity to help the semen travel to the egg. Some people use soft cups to insert the sperm straight in then leave it in for up to 12 hours. We also used a spectrum to open up the vaginal passage to make it easier to insert the syringe into the cervix.

what you need for AI-

NI is natural insemination. This is having sexual intercourse in order to achieve conception. I personally disagree with this method mainly because I am in love and married to Ben, as while yes we needed assistance to achieve conception, I would see this as cheating. Meanwhile many single women or couples do chose this method and that is their choice and not saying its wrong it is what suits the individual. Many people believe that this method allows a better chance to conceive but there is no research or facts to support this. Do not feel pressured into this as many donor online have been known to agree to AI then pressure the recipient into NI because they are in a vulnerable situation because they just want a baby. However if this is your chosen method ensure your partner is happy about it as well and STI checks have been done and all clear before hand.

PI is partial insemination, where the man brings himself close to orgasm before having penintrational sexual intercourse to achieve conception, this is very similar to NI just the donor is only performing penetration into order to procreate. This is a less intimate variation to NI. So all above is to be considered when choosing this methods.

Also other methods that are less common like AI+ or NI+ are basically artificial insemination where the recipient helps the donor to ejaculate into the pots with sexual contact or oral sex,  to then inseminate themselves, or has their partner or the donor insemination them. NI+ is where oral or sexual contact is performed before penetration. https://www.coparents.co.uk/forum/what-does-ai-ni-pi-mean-t3771.html

IUI stands for intrauterine insemination this is performed at a clinic in a similar way to AI. Where the sperm is sampled and washed, then  a Catheter tube is used to insert the sperm directly up into the uterus. This maximizes the number of sperm to fertilize the egg. Also in most cases a fertility drug to increase ovulation may be used too. http://americanpregnancy.org/infertility/intrauterine-insemination/

IVF is a medical procedure called In Vitro Fertilization, in which an egg is fertilized by sperm outside of the body in a lab and is inserted directly into the uterus. This treatment is for those with unexplained infertility, or medical conditions which affect fertility. It is covered in some cases by the NHS but most people have to fund it themselves, especially couples in same sex relationships or when someone is trans. It is  very expensive roughly costing around £7,000 or more when as an LGBT couple we would have to get sperm from a sperm bank too.

Questions for a donor.

do they have:

• proof of recent STI checks,
• are all health and medical checks are done,
• making sure they do not have are medical conditions in their family. 
• Their life style and interests
• If they smoke or drink
• IF they have any allegies
• Religious or family heritage 
• How many times they have donated, 
• Where they had donated so you know how many of donor children they have and in what proximaty to you. 
• If they want no contact, photographs throughout their childhood or some sort of contact and ensure this is right for your family to and what you want, do not let a donor force you into having contact if you do not want this.

Your rights:

Making sure you and the baby and your partner, if you have one, are protected is the most important thing. When getting a sperm donor at a sperm bank you are completely protected from the sperm bank. However finding a sperm donor yourself and doing home insemination means you are not protected by the legal system. So in order to ensure your rights firstly make sure your donor is genuine and you have spoken to them a lot before settling on them. We found as a couple that the best way to ensure our rights was to get married, this is because you are then completely protected by the law. This is because the person who carries/gives birth will always have parental rights however through private donations, the sperm donor then also have parental rights as the father,  this meant that as Ben's partner I would not have rights over our child. The donor could take us to court to fight custody or recipient could then take donors to court for maintenance  money. Therefore by being married that takes all paternal rights from the donor to pass them on to me as Ben's husband. 

There are some other ways like donor agreements which can be written up and signed by the donor and the recipient to pass the donors rights as father to the recipients partner, however some courts and certain situations, mean they will not hold under the current laws and actually are not reliable. 

Another way is filing for a parenting agreement or the partner adopting the baby after birth which suits some people but it can be a lengthy and risky process in which the donor could then not give up his rights and change his mind about the child in order to obtains his rights as the father. We decided that the best option for us was to get married before conception.

the rights can be seen here:

• the gov website at: https://www.gov.uk/legal-rights-for-egg-and-sperm-donors 
• alternative family law.: http://www.alternativefamilylaw.co.uk/gay-lesbian/legal-paternity-sperm-donation-lesbians/

This image can be found as a PDF on the link above, it is just a flow diagram showing the pathway in regards to rights. However it is based on a Female same sex relationship but works the same for heterosexual couples and trans couple like me and Ben. 

This is why it is important to get to know your donor first to make sure you know your rights so your protected, and ensure you will have a healthy baby! Good luck to everyone on the path to parent hood. 

Other useful sites for research into donations, rights and how to do home insemiantions is:
https://www.coparents.com/insemination/home-insemination-guide.php