Our first donation.

Our first Donation

On the 21st and 22nd of April we had our first donation, firstly we had been let down by yet another donor online but then we messaged another who we had spoke to before and was a well known donor. He was available that weekend when Ben was ovulating, so last minuet we traveled up to Luton. We had a friend who helped us out with a discount for the Hotel that night which saved us some money, we really appreciated this. 

This donor however charged for his sperm which is actually not allowed, its not completely illegal because its for cost of the pot and petrol for him to get their.  But at the time we had been let down, we wanted a family so much so we just paid him and did the donation. 

It was a little awkward just because we had never done it at this point, the donor met me downstairs in the parking lot of the hotel, while Ben was upstairs. He was very nice and it made it less awkward which helped relieve my nerves.  I  collected the pot and syringe and I then inseminated Ben. 

It was also just a very unusual experience because it not anything you can really prepare for, I had read online about how to do it  and got advise from people who had done it before but I still worried about hurting Ben or if I was getting the syringe in far enough. So anyways we had two donation one on the Saturday night then again in the morning. 

The wait began.....

It was the hardest two weeks, just having to wait to take a pregnancy test, I think I was more impatient then Ben. It was hard, the week went so slowly and we also was getting married that weekend so had lots to look forward to. 

Tips for Two weeks wait, is just keep busy and do not look too much into symptoms. Do not take test two early as it takes at least 10-14 day post ovulation for the HCG levels to rise enough to get a positive. So a negative test could just mean its to early to show up But, every person is different 

Ben was feeling sick and getting pains in his stomach and chest,  however the brain can trick you and desperation does weird things to your body and mind. We had decided to take a pregnancy test the day after our wedding, mainly because we did not want to take it on the day and have two overwhelming nervous racking events on the same day. I was a nervous wreck as it was because of the wedding day, having the attention on us because I do not really like that, as well as Ben planning surprises which I hate. 

Unfortunately Ben started to have spotting two days before our wedding which was 12 days post donation. at first we thought it could be implantation bleeding because he was getting pregnancy symptoms but when we did a test it was negative. While we knew it could just be too early and kept our hopes up which, I know is not a good thing to do but we learnt that it is hard not to when you have planned for a baby for so long and just wanted a family so much. 

The day of our wedding came and Ben had come on heavy which was menstruation sadly. This was a week early according to to app we used to track his cycles, it was also heavier then normal so we knew that he was not pregnant. Although we was not excepting him to fall first time as its very unlikely for anyone on trying to conceive, especially as he had come oof hormones only 8 months ago as well as his cycles still being irregular and longer then 28 days. 

This hurt us more then we excepted especially Ben, we had been so busy planning the wedding, then actually getting married, we did not let it ruin the day so just put it to the back of our minds. We did have an amazing day and it was the happiest I had ever been. Our close family and friends where there to celebrate with us then we went away for the weekend before going back to work. 

We just carried on as normal but never really let ourselves be upset or talk it though which affected us a lot. Ben struggled and he had low moods and a really hard month. We did sit down a few weeks later and talk about it, we decided to keep trying although we would find a new local donor. 

Some advise:

• Make sure as a couple or if your single that you prepare for a negative and for it not to work.
• As I said before do not symtom check
• Make sure you have support in place 
• If you have access to counseling while trying to conceive take it as Ben found this helpful to just talk through everything. 
• It is hard honesty I know but do not get to excited or your hopes up to much. (easier said then done) 
• Seek advise from others who have done home insemination (feel free to message me) as this helps ease the awkwardness and make you more confident in how to do it.