First trimester

First Trimester. 

After finding out we were pregnant we were so excited, However other then planning and eating right there was not much we could do this early on. We did tell those close to us and some of our family like Ben's aunt and cousins as well as my nan and granddad, dad and mum. We wanted to let those who had been there from the beginning of our journey and supported us through our planning, when we were trying to conceive. 

We started by getting a doctors appointment to confirm the pregnancy. Unfortunately Ben got the new male doctor at our surgery who seemed baffled over the fact a man was pregnant, Ben had to explain all his trans history to the doctor because he had not read Ben's notes. Then when the doctor did a dip and strip pregnancy test it came up negative. He was not very informative and seemed to not really know what to do. Ben asked to be sent for bloods but the doctor was very rude stating that he would not do bloods because despite Ben having about 8 different brands including clear blue early home pregnancy tests showing positive. He did not believe Ben was pregnant and just said as the doctors ones are reliable he was not pregnant. We knew this was not true as we done a test early and over the counter home test are actually stronger and more reliable at picking up pregnancy HCG levels before the ones that the doctor's have. Ben was only 10 days after ovulation and 12 days after donation therefore we knew it was still early so we waited a few more days before booking with another doctor to do Ben's bloods. A week later it then actually did come back positive as we knew it would, however was reassuring to have it medically confirmed. 

We were both very excited we had planned and wanted this for so long, but also nervous about becoming parents and getting through the first 12 weeks. I literally did not sleeps for ages because I was to excited planning and googling. I had so much going round in my head. My need to organised and clean got the better of me with my OCD coming in fall spring, while Ben was sleep a lot and his sickness had already started. 

Ben had lots of decision to make in regards to staying at the school or taking the new job he has been offered. We had lots to do to make sure he was eating right and had enough rest. We told our school about the pregnancy for his safety with the children due to working with special needs there was a lot of manual handling and some dangers if the kids lashed out in case Ben got hit in the stomach, work were very accommodating. However he did decided to change and accept the new job which although was longer hours it was more what he loved to do by going back into sports and we felt it was the best decision for us and the baby. 

Early scares. 

At 5 weeks pregnant Ben was off work due to not feeling well and while I was at work he had some bleeding, this panicked him a lot and could not contacted me. His aunt lucky was around to take him to the early pregnancy unit to get him checked out. Although they did do a scan and saw a sac, it was too early to be able to completely be sure. which meant we had to wait two weeks in order to have another scan. 

I felt so bad that I could not be there for him and was at work because by the time he got hold off me he was out of the hospital and resting in bed at his aunts. It was very scary and for him to have to deal with that without me must have been hard. I tried to stay very positive and reassure him that it was going to be okay because deep down I believed it was however it was very hard. I was so fearfully if anything bad was going to happen. I then could not seep even more with worry every night. I could no longer plan and found it hard to talk about the baby with Ben. While I still did and held it together for his sack because I know how scared and worried he also was. It was the worse and longest two weeks, Also because Ben had a bit more bleeding, pains and back sickness. to the point we ended up in A&E again because of bleeding and because he was very worried, Like the pregnancy unit they could not do anything so early and did nothing but try and reassure us that it was common for bleeding to occur. 

After a long wait two weeks later we had another scan, we were both sat in the waiting room fearing the worse and hoping for the best. That moment that they turned the screen around and said good news your baby is fine was such a relieve. It was like a wash over us of pure happiness and love that I can not explain. We both were tearful with relief and happiness to see our baby. We also got to see their little heart beat flicker. That was when we knew our baby was a fighter, they were testing us and preparing us for parenthood. We also did get to take a photo although they were a tiny blob. 

Another scare we had at 10 weeks was when Ben had started his new job. He was working as a sports activity worker in a main stream primary school, one afternoon again when I was at work also, he had a blow to the stomach by a football from one of the children. He took a minuet out but after that was getting pains and being very sick. As we were very concerned later that evening we decided to call 111 who told us to go to A&E. I was not to concerned this time because there was no bleeding but we went for peace of mind. A&E was very busy, however the nurses were very understanding and took Ben's bloods. They also checked his stomach and got a midwives to come see him. She was very sure that the baby was fine never the less  understood for our peace of mind, with previous scares, that she did a scan so we could see for ourselves that baby was fine and healthy. This was the first time we really got a better view as before they were a tiny blob at 7 weeks. This time we saw their spine and arms, we saw them moving a little which was very magical. it made it more real that their was a little human, very much fine and healthy. 

After that it was more reassuring that we were going to be dads and that the baby was growing well, so we started to plan even more and get their room ready whilst we awaited our 12 week scans and midwives appointment.