Telling our family

Telling our family.

This post is about how and when we told family and how they took it. So different family member found out at different times. They have all been supportive but more so then others. 

Alot of our family and close friends knew we were trying and that Ben was going to carry, because we wanted them to be prepared and be apart of our journey. 

Ben's family knew as soon as he decided he wanted to carry and when he came off hormones because, they live near and we see them a lot. At the time we also lived at their house.

Some of my family knew when Ben came off hormones like my nan and grandad and dad because they were very supportive of my transition as well as me and ben as a couple. 

They all were very excited. The main people being Ben's cousin's wife who we spoke to a lot and had her own two children along with complication with their births. They were also trying for another. My Nan and Grandad also were there for us a lot through Ben coming off hormones and us trying for a baby.

When we conceived we were so excited and just wanted to tell everyone. Our close friends who are our chosen family were the first people we told having gone done a simpler journey being trans daddies. Then as we were going round to Ben's aunts for the normal weekly family roast we told them as could not hide our pure happiness. They were shock because it happen quicker then any of us expected. But very happy. Also Ben's nan was surprisly great with it all considering it took also 9/10 year to accept Ben as a male. Pretty much after getting with me and I would correct them if they misgender him or used his birth name. But she was exited to have another baby in the family. 

Ben's aunts been really good taking him to the early pregancy unit when he had the bleeding as well as talking to us about it. Also bens older cousins, who are more like his siberling as he was raised by his aunt with them all growing up together. 

Then next my nan and grandad, dad, step mum, her kids and mum and step dad were the next family to know. They were all excited especially my dad, he can not wait to be a grandad. My mum was surprised and congratulated us.

We wanted to wait until our 12 week scan to let anyone else know, however because my cousin was expecting twins 7 weeks ahead of us. It slipped up at a family party I was not at which my nan and grandad told us that all my family knew. I was sad about this because it was my news to tell. As I moved away from where all my family lived and with my transition I become more distant with my family and was building relationships back up, so I hated that I was not even there and that something that was so exciting and I want to share was taken from me.

Specially with not being out of the danger zone and with Ben having bleeding a few weeks before I didn't want everyone knowing yet. However a few weeks on and we had a big family party which me and Ben attended. It was good to see everyone and my family were very supportive and congratulated us. They were all excited which was good. I was able to talk to my aunts and cousins more and now it was out I felt better about it. 

My brother was the last to know really, as he is in the navy and away, meaning he was not there to find out. So after him being told about my transition I want to at least be the one to tell him he was going to be an uncle (considering he was the only uncle our child would have by law) although they have lots of chosen uncles and aunts which are very close friends. I had to tell my brother over messagener because he was not due back for a few more weeks. I didn't want him coming back and hearing it from other people. Also because it was after 12 weeks and we wanted to share it. He actually seemed really pleased and excited which was a surprise because he does really try but think he finds my transition hard. Also being away alot I don't see him that much. He also said he hopes it's a boy so he can take him out and  stuff.

Then lastly Ben's little cousins who are two and three found out. Ben's family were worried abit about explaining it to the younger kids because they might not understand where Ben is a man. However they could not be more wrong. His oldest cousin who is three is very clever and wise to the world. Also with having other siberling and her mum trying she knows about it. She thinks the stalk brings the seed and knows they grow in her mummies tummy til they are ready. Then get cut open and the doctors sqeash the baby out and sew the tummy up (her mum had to have c sections)

She was so happy and excited saying she wants a girl cousin because there is all boys in the family. Tonight shows how children understand the world more them most adults. 

While babysitting I laid with her to get them all to sleep and all she is talking about is our baby. Saying Ben got a baby in his belly and saying how the stalk brought us a baby and chose Ben not me. She asking why they chose Ben bless her. She saying our baby will have two daddies. 

She was asking lots of innocent questions about when they will be here and coming up with names for us. Asking if she can hold and feed them and buy them a present. She wants to buy them a toy car and a Teddy so they can sleep and play with them. She just so excited. She knows they are here in febuary and it is the cutest to just talking to a 3 year old about a man having a baby and it is just normal in her world. People need to take inspiration from kids innocent mind in how we see the world

We are now 14 weeks, things are going well. We have lots of baby stuff already because we are just so excited as well as me having OCD and being too prepared because, I like to plan. We have lists of stuff we have, lists of things we need to still buy and lists for others to get us.

We have another appointment next week so I will update on all that and how Ben's has been feelings.